If you’re considering adopting a swinging lifestyle, there are a few things to consider before you get started. Ensure a fun and safe experience by reading through these tips and suggestions first.
1. Think about Why Before you leap into the swinging lifestyle, take a moment together to discuss why you want to swing. If you’re looking to add some zest to your relationship and fulfill some exciting fantasies, swinging might be exactly what you need. If you’re trying to fix an unhealthy relationship or if you’re agreeing to swinging simply to get your partner to stay, it’s probably not a good avenue to pursue. Have a candid and honest discussion before you adopt this alternative lifestyle.
2. Consider Fantasies Once you’ve decided that this is a healthy move for your relationship, it’s time to talk about your fantasies. The sky is truly the limit so get creative. Are you looking for other couples or perhaps just one other person to join you? Would you like to be tied up? Are you hoping to just watch?
3. Talk About No-Nos Some couples have an ‘anything goes’ attitudes, while others prefer to set a few ground rules. What sort of couple are you? Talk about your expectations and preferences ahead of time to avoid a tense situation later on.
4. Construct New Identities Most swinging couples prefer to remain anonymous and so they create personas. Have some fun creating a mysterious and exciting identity beginning with new names.
5. Use the Internet One of the easiest ways to get started in the swinging world is to join an adult dating site. Once you create a profile, you’ll be able to meet all kinds of couples and individuals interested in swinging. You can review their profiles and photos and then contact them privately through the website instead of using your private email address.
6. Choose the Right People If you’ve met someone online you think you might be attracted to, set up a time to talk on the phone and eventually meet in person. Many couples meet up for casual drinks before they decide to take it further. You may end up ‘interviewing’ several couples and individuals before you’ve made the right match. Be patient.
7. Look into Clubs Chances are there are several swinger clubs near you. Check your adult dating site to see if any are listed and run an online search. Ask some people you have met online and get their advice. Don’t be afraid to contact a club ahead of time to learn about the type of clientele it attracts and what rules they have in place.
8. Find a Party Your adult dating site is also a great place to find a swinger party. If you’ve never been to a swinger’s party, do a little research ahead of time so that you know what to expect.
9. Keep it on the Down Low Most people keep their swinging lifestyle fairly private. Respect people’s privacy and don’t ask a lot of personal questions.
10. Enjoy Yourselves The most important thing to remember is to have fun. Ease yourself into the swinging lifestyle slowly, making sure you and your partner are comfortable every step of the way.
Myths About Swinging
Myth 1: All swingers are ugly overweight people! Truth: Swingers come from all walks of life with all shapes and sizes. You will find that swingers are a true cross-section of society, both young and old, fat and thin, average, rich and poor, high class and redneck.
Myth 2: There is a higher risk of STDs among swingers than among the rest of society. Truth: Swingers do not engage in any more of a risky behavior than singles who choose to have sex. The risk of STDs among swingers is the same as in general population and typically swingers take more precautions in using protection and choosing their partners well than the average single person.
Myth 3: Swinging is Cheating Truth: Cheating is when you lie or hide something from your partner. Swinging is neither of those. When you swing, everything is out on the table and both partners have given permission for any activities that occur to take place.
Myth 4: People who swing have bad marriages Truth: Swinging is not for everyone, it requires a strong committed relationship. While some couples do go to swinging as a last ditch effort to "save a marriage" it is just that a last ditch effort that in most cases will not work. Successful swinging couples have very strong relationships with good communication and strong honesty.
Myth 5: Swingers will have sex with anyone Truth: Just because a person chooses to swing does not mean they will have sex with anyone. The typical swinger chooses their partners more discriminately than most singles do. Just like anyone else, a swinger has to be attracted to and turned on by their partner.
Myth 6: Swinging is always the husband's idea. Truth: Swinging is brought up just as often by the female in a relationship. Regardless of who brings up the idea it is true that women rule the swinging world and have the final say as to what happens during a swinging encounter.
Myth 7: Threesomes aren't considered swinging Truth: Threesomes is a type of swinging, and one that many couples prefer. Swinging does not always mean swapping partners.
Myth 8: Swinging is only for couples Truth: Couples as well as singles swing. While many swinging couples choose to only swing with other couples, many couples prefer singles.
Myth 9: Swingers don't believe in God. Truth: Many swingers are quite religious. Christians who swing consider themselves Liberated Christians and there are many groups of LC's throughout the country that meet together for Bible studies.
Myth 10: All swingers do drugs Truth: While some swingers do drugs, once again swingers are just like anyone else in society, some people do drugs and some don't.
Myth 11: Swingers are bad parents Truth: Once again swingers are just like everyone else. There are bad parents just as well as good parents. Swingers in general, do not let their children know about their lifestyle choice or in any way behave differently than any other parents around their children.
Myth 12: All females who swing are bisexual Truth: While it does seem that female bisexuality is almost expected within the lifestyle there are many women who swing that are completely straight and have no interest in being with other women.
Myth 13: All swinger wives are just sluts Truth: Just because a swinger wife chooses to have sex with people other than her husband does not mean she is a slut. She still chooses her partners wisely and does not have sex indiscriminately.
Myth 14: People swing because they aren't happy with their sex life at home. Truth: Most swingers have great sex lives and choose to swing because it is the only way to live out certain fantasies that they share.
Myth 15: Swingers Are Open-Minded Truth: Just like any other people, swingers are open-minded only to the things they are open-minded to, but everyone has their limits. Being a swinger does not mean that you are open to anything.
Myth 16: Swinging will help a weak/damaged relationship Truth: Swinging amplifies a marriage, so it is more likely that if you add swinging to a weak or damaged marriage it will magnify the existing issues rather than repair them.
Myth 17: Swinging will keep a potential cheater from cheating Truth: Cheating is typically a symptom of much larger issues within a person or a relationship. While some people try to use swinging as a way to making cheating ok, in the end if a person is going to cheat they are going to cheat whether they have been given permission to have sex with others or not.
Myth 18: Swingers try to convert everyone else to their lifestyle Truth: Swingers are not evangelists. In fact, most swingers prefer to keep their lifestyle to themselves and will only share it with their closest friends (if then) or others that they already know are swingers as well.
Myth 19: Swingers Don't Love their spouses Truth: Swinging requires the greatest of love to be willing to grant your partners deepest fantasies and desires and to share them without jealousy.
Myth 20: Swingers don't take time to get to know their partners beyond "Hello". Truth: Ok, sometimes this is true, but most swingers actually like to really get to know their playmates before having sex with them. Having sex to swinging couples is much like it was to them when they were single. Sometimes they make friends first, sometimes they have sex on the first date and sometimes they may not even know the other person's name. Myth 21: All swingers live in mobile homes Truth: Over 90% of the swingers we have surveyed live in actual houses. Myth 22: You can identify a swinger by...... Truth: There is no way to identify a swinger just by looking at them. There are several myths regarding ankle bracelets, thumb rings and even white rocks in their yard that supposedly identify someone as a swinger. If any of them are/were true then there are a whole lot of people who are unknowingly telling the world they are swingers. Myth 23: Swinging will improve your sex life as a couple Truth: Swinging in and of itself will not likely improve your sex life. It might seem to initially as you are on somewhat of a high following your first swinging encounter, but the reality is that if you don't have a good solid relationship and communication base, in the long run swinging will not change anything about your sex life. Swinging should not be taken up as a means to improve your sex life. If one partner is not interested in sex, most likely there is some other underlying cause that needs to be addressed, and it can't be addressed without strong communication. Information from www.swingertruth.com
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